50 Weeks (350 Days) Without My Mum

I am reminded of the profound impact

your loving presence had on my life

and the tremendous challenges that

have come with your physical absence

Ma, it has been 50 weeks (350 days) since you were deprived of the right to be in our lives so suddenly, but I am still finding so damn hard to come to terms with, for I am now forever a motherless daughter and an adult orphan, as the dreadful loss of you is still so damn raw for me to truly believe in acceptance those people, who have promised I will eventually find

Ma, in the vast expanse of this world, I am standing, a motherless daughter, an orphan, on shifting sand, a bond once so strong, severed by fate, 50 weeks (350 days) ago, I am now navigating life, burdened by weight of your absence, if I knew how painful it would become without you being here with me, I would have told you times without number that I love you

Ma, your loving memory has been floating like delicate whispers in the air, reminding me of your love was so pure and so rare, when a daughter loses a mother, just like me 50 weeks (350 days) ago, the intervals between grief response over time, but my longing for you has not disappeared, since it has been hovering at the edge of my awareness, it always will be

Ma, my grief was so intrusive 50 weeks (350 days) ago, so was my sense of constant hurt, eased up for a very brief moment, and then rushed back with deafening intensity, as I have not been feeling any joy ever since, consequently I have seriously questioned that whether I will ever feel happiness again, at this point of time, I simply cannot see it is any possibility