This is my story
The language of grief is a language of love,
a dialect woven with threads of cherished memories, shared moments, and enduring affection with our lost ones, a language that continues to speak, even in the silence of their absence, and though the road may be long and arduous, so too is the love, as we are safe in the knowledge that we are never alone, for the language of loss that unites us altogether
The more we loved, the more we grieve!
I am Furong Xing Naghten, a motherless daughter, an adult orphan, a sister, and a wife, who loves passionately and grieves intensely. I am not a professional or an expert on grief and loss, I am just an ordinary person, who is journeying through grief. I am not a writer or an author, I am really just a normal person, who writes and shares about my personal grief journey with others.
My life was dramatically altered, when my beloved Dad sadly passed away 17 years ago, but I still had my dearest Mum left to anaesthetise my pain, and helped me to process the depths of my grief over the years. However, my beautiful Mum was taken from us so suddenly and so unexpectedly on Tuesday, 04 October 2022, as it was undeniably the worst day of my entire existence.
Losing both of my parents is not the same as losing one, a million times over, as I not only lost my identity as a daughter, but even I am an adult, it was really weird to be orphaned, a lost child with no Mum and Dad. I learned on my grief journey, society does not grant much permission for us to share our grief, speak about our loved ones, or express our complicated feelings and emotions.
I inevitably discovered that people avoid talking about grief, and the elephant in the room that is shaped like pain, since it is so very intimidating and miserable to be around, it took their words from them, and crippling their abilities to know what to say.
It made me feeling like no one understands what I have been through or gets it, hence I wanted my grief to be heard and break a taboo.
That is what brought me to writing, after the devastating loss of my darling Mum, as I have to write through my hurt and heartache by focusing on what I experienced and pouring my pain into pages, I not only found my voice and my truth, but it has also been therapeutic for me, and writing my sorrow down is the only way that worked, it becomes my confidant, my soulmate and my healer.
I have been writing like a madwoman ever since, has everything I been writing good? Oh, no! But it is personal, it is authentic, it is emotional and it is vulnerable, it has been written under the full crescendo of my deepest grief, so I started to share my story and my journey with others, who are grieving like me and going through the same thing on this challenging and very painful journey.
Am I grateful that I have been keeping to write and share my personal grief journey? Yes! A million times yes! It turned out to be one of the best decisions I have ever made, so I will continue to write and share my stories, with the hope that it might comfort, help and inspire people on their own journey. Above all, I will continue to write, honour my Mum’s memory, and keep her legacy alive.
Grief should not be a journey to be travelled alone!
Furong Xing Naghten
This is my story
I am so grateful we have a big collection of photos and videos of my darling Mum, as not only help us remember everything that made her special and unique, but also enable us to keep her alive in our minds through those precious moments we shared.
Make her tribute videos is an important part
of making sure her legacies live on!
