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Mum & Furong

My Grief Journey


Grief is simply love that has lost its home!

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The Power of Purple: A Symbol of My Darling Mum

  • Writer: Furong Xing Naghten
    Furong Xing Naghten
  • Oct 4, 2024
  • 4 min read

Updated: Apr 8

The Power of Purple:

A Symbol of My Darling Mum



Mum, our beautiful purple queen
though you may be gone, your love lives on in the vibrant hues
of purple that surround us each and every day

Our Purple Queen
Our Purple-loving Queen
Ma, purple was always your favourite colour, and we all knew it, as it was a colour that you quietly integrated into the clothes you wore, or the small accessories you picked out, it was a shade you gravitated towards it that seemed second nature, it was just a subtle detail we accepted as part of who you were, woven into the fabric of your personality that felt almost inevitable, and it was simply one of the many things, that made you unique, but, somehow, it never occurred to us to dive deeper into your love for purple, when you were alive, since we took everything for granted, assuming there would always be time to ask

Ma, your sudden and unexpected departure 2 years ago, left us with so many unanswered questions, and this is one of those queries, that we never thought to ask you - why purple? What was it about that purple colour that spoke to you? Was it the richness, the depth, the elegance that particular shade possesses? Was it something more personal, a reflection of your spirit, strong, vibrant, and full of life? Those small but meaningful questions, that now, in your absence, became a lingering mystery, as if your love for purple is a secret, you had taken with you, and leaving us with this beautiful colour to remember you by

Ma, when you were still here, purple was just another colour in the background of our daily lives, as we never intentionally sought it out, never made an effort to buy you purple things or surround ourselves with purple shades, it was always there, but it did not stand out to us in the way it does now, it was only since your awful passing, purple has taken on an almost sacred meaning for us, a new significance that none of us could have anticipated, as it has becoming a powerful symbol of you, a reminder of your presence, a tangible connection to your memory, and in this chapter of our life without you, purple is everywhere

Ma, in the 2 years since you abruptly left us, purple has become the thread that binds us to your enduring spirit, and it is now central to everything we do, that permeates every aspect of our lives, as we find ourselves drawn to purple in ways we never imagined, what is most profound is that, we see purple now more than ever before, it is as if the colour was always there, but we never really noticed it, until you were taken from us, as if the world around us is echoing your favourite colour back to us, as if the universe knows, we need those gentle reminders of you, your everlasting legacy, and the impact you had on us all

Ma, it is so damn strange to think how this colour has taken on such an emotional meaning for us, when during your life, it was something we never gave a second thought, but today, it protrudes, vivid and purposeful, everywhere we go, we look for shades of purple, a flash of purple in the sky, violet flowers bloom on the side of the road, or the soft lavender hue of a sunset, all of it feels like you, however, every encounter with purple, brings with it a wave of sensations, there is sadness, of course, because it reminds us of your absence, there is also solace in knowing that something as a colour can still connect us to you

Ma, most importantly, we have come to associate purple with your presence, and in a way, each time we see purple, it is as if we are catching a glimpse of you, as if you are standing beside us, and your love enveloping us like a comforting embrace, as if a little piece of you is still with us, it is a fleeting but soothing connection, that transcends the gap between this world and wherever you are now, it is as though that colour has become a stand-in for you, as though you are gently letting us know you are watching over us with affection and pride, as it feels like a priceless gift, one that helps ease the ache of your absence

Ma, we will never know why you loved purple so dearly, and a tiny part of you we will never fully understand, but we do not need the answer anymore, the fact that this colour reminds us of you is enough, and though we will never know why purple meant so much to you, we know now that it means everything to us, as purple is no longer just a colour, but a feeling, a reflection, a tribute, it is you, it is your legacy, and it is a language between your memory and us, so as we journey forward without you, we carry the colour purple in our hearts and our souls, knowing that wherever we go, you are with us, forever and always
 
 
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Furong Xing Naghten

I am a motherless daughter and an adult orphan, who loves passionately and grieves intensely, as I write and share about my personal grief journey with others, after I lost my darling Mum on 04 October 2022

to major stroke so suddely and so unexpectedly, with the hope that it might comfort, help and inspire people on their own journey.

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"Mum, I will forever 
cherish the love that
we once shared "

Furong
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A smile and a wave 
you were loved by all

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 In the midst of mourning of

my darling Mum’s unexpected and sudden passing

I found comfort in the written word

the paper absorbed my tears and the pen

became the companion to my grief-stricken heart

the emotions, too overwhelming for spoken language

found refuge in the silent conversation between ink and paper "

- Furong Xing Naghten

Furong
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