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Mum & Furong

My Grief Journey


Grief is simply love that has lost its home!

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Mum, A Very Happy 78th Birthday

  • Writer: Furong Xing Naghten
    Furong Xing Naghten
  • Dec 23, 2023
  • 3 min read

Updated: Apr 8


Mum, A Very Happy 78th Birthday



I wanted the whole world to witness
the greatest impact your absence had on me
the whole universe to know about the amazing lady you were

My Beautiful Mum, Faxi & Philip
My Beautiful Mum, Faxi & Philip

Ma, this day especially, today, on your 78th birthday, as I am penning down these smarting words, I am aching for you, it is your birthday, but you are not here with us to celebrate this significant milestone, the second time we are spending this day in your absence, my heart is filled with tremendous sadness and immense sorrow, since I just cannot believe that, all the time that has gone by, yet the shock and disbelief that you are really gone still remains

Ma, your birthday used to be a time for joy, laughter, and celebration, but today, you are no longer with us, so it is a day of taking on a different, more contemplative tone, as we, your dearest family are gathering together for the very first time, in our hometown, from different parts of the world, on your special day, to honour and remember the day, what would have been your 78th birthday, and I am sure you would like being with us just as much as we do

Ma, your birthdays were a jubilant celebration of your remarkable life, and your 78th would have been no exception, undoubtedly, this excruciating pain of your profound absence are keenly felt to this day by us all, but this sad occasion presents an opportunity to remember the beautiful life you so very well lived, and to honour the incredible journey you undertook, even though we cannot mark this day with a birthday cake and candles, like we used to do

Ma, the unfathomable heartache of losing you so unexpectedly, has been a life changing experience beyond the scope of words, and the acute absence of your physical presence on your 78th birthday, creates an emptiness that is so damn difficult for us to comprehend, since there is a chair left unfilled, a voice unheard, a smile unseen, and the worst of all, we are grieving for your sudden departure, on this day, even it is the second time without you


Ma, today, on your birthday, we are getting together, in the very place where you were born 78 years ago today, thus we choose to celebrate your unique existence, and to cherish the precious gift of your loving presence, even in your woeful absence, on this day, we cry, we laugh, we share stories of your extraordinary life, we persevere those treasured memories, you gifted us, and most importantly, we pay tribute to the amazing and great lady you were

Ma, here is to you, my darling Mum, on what would have been your 78th birthday, today, in the face of our shared grief, we are finding the spirit of our unity and togetherness, which is a source of comfort and strength, and this poignant experience of coming together reminds us all, the stupendous joy you brought into our lives, the selfless love you enriched our life, the enormous impact you had on each of us, and the indelible marks you left on our hearts

Ma, yet, it is precisely on this occasion, on this particular day, we are feeling your indefinite physical absence the strongest, the deepest, and the greatest, but we hope that you could feel the depth of our affection from wherever you may be, it is a moment of connection that transcends the boundaries of this world, so, a very happy 78th birthday, my precious Mum, you are so loved, so remembered, and so celebrated today, tomorrow, always and forever

 
 
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Furong Xing Naghten

I am a motherless daughter and an adult orphan, who loves passionately and grieves intensely, as I write and share about my personal grief journey with others, after I lost my darling Mum on 04 October 2022

to major stroke so suddely and so unexpectedly, with the hope that it might comfort, help and inspire people on their own journey.

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"Mum, I will forever 
cherish the love that
we once shared "

Furong
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A smile and a wave 
you were loved by all

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 In the midst of mourning of

my darling Mum’s unexpected and sudden passing

I found comfort in the written word

the paper absorbed my tears and the pen

became the companion to my grief-stricken heart

the emotions, too overwhelming for spoken language

found refuge in the silent conversation between ink and paper "

- Furong Xing Naghten

Furong
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