200 Days Without My Precious Mum

Mum, your garden was

your home away from home

your sanctuary and apart from your family

the thing you took most pride in

Ma, spring is here, when I look out the window, I can see the sky is blue, the sun is bright, and the trees are green, sad to say that, spring of new life bring fresh hope, cannot teach my grieving soul of the past 200 days, how to cope with the tremendous pain of losing you, and cannot take away the emptiness I have been feeling without you, spring is a season of blooming flowers bring new beginnings, notwithstanding, it does not allow me to forget that prodigious moment of your love was deprived from me, I have been reliving it in flashbacks constantly, and it does not allow me to overlook the immense hurt of missing you

Ma, 200 days on, I have been feeling extremely lonely in your absence, so it dawns on me how much you made a physical house a home, how you made our house a sanctuary and a guiding light in the storm, not for the reason that house is built with bricks or stones, can weather the elements, but because our home was created on the most solid foundation of your unmeasured love, your unreserved support, and your unequivocal commitment, even so, when you that mother person in my life is no longer here, well, I find myself utterly lost and implicitly homeless, I find myself grieving home that held so many memories

Ma, it has been 200 days since you were taken away from me, I am still feeling your loving presence with your infectious laughter in every room and your very being permeates every corner of the house that you called home for the last 16 odd years of your unique life, as it feels as if your cheerful spirit is still very much alive and well, and it is close to as if you are still with us and never left, thus that when I walk around the house, I can see you watching your favourite Chinese dramas in your living room, playing the jigsaws on your iPad in your bedroom upstairs, or sleeping sitting in your chair or sofa in your distinctive style

Ma, spring is a season that the weather is warming and the birds are chirping, for all those, whenever I see how the weather outside is so incredibly perfect, so bloody perfect, it sadly reminds me that you would spend the beautiful day tending your plants and flowers in your pretty garden, or you would make some more funny looking wooden storage cupboards, or you would go out for walks and enjoy shopping at the same time, hence you could take full advantage of the lovely sunshine, to such a great extent that, how I sincerely wish that you could have lived so much longer, relishing your life to the fullest like you once did