My darling Mum, you knew, you always knew

you knew that your unexpected loss would

devastate me, your sudden absence would break

me in ways I would not know how to put into words

you knew that my heart would ache in places I did

not know existed, and you knew grief would come

like a wildfire, leaving ash where you once stood

You knew I would mourn you fiercely without apology

you always knew I felt things deeply, your sensitive girl

as you used to say, with both a smile and a protection

you knew I would not hide from grief, that I would

feel every wave of it, every sting, every hollow space

you knew I would cry without restraint, letting it rise

and fall with me till it became the landscape of my life

You knew I would survive this unimaginable loss

even when I was unsure I could, because you always

believed in me, you made me you in all the best ways

you raised me to endure, to soften in pain rather

than harden from the very start, but you also knew

I would never stop missing you, and your love already

built reservoirs of strength I am only now discovering

You knew I would learn, in time, how to live without you

you knew everything, because, after all, you know me

your baby daughter, better than I knew myself

and even in your absence, that truth does not change

and now, I know too, I know that you are not here to hold

my hand, but you are still holding my heart, you are still

speaking to me in the language only mothers and daughters