Autumn, my favourite season, I used to love

the way the world seemed to slow down

the shift from hot summer to the cool of fall

a quiet pause ahead of the chill of winter

but that was before my Mum unexpectedly

and suddenly departed during this very season

now, it is a season tied irrevocably to her passing

Autumn is no longer the season I once cherished

it has taken on a completely different meaning

every falling leaf, every vibrant hues of orange

every crisp breeze, and every golden sunset

carries with it the weight of her awful absence

with each passing Autumn day, I am reminded

this season has become an anniversary of grief

The spirt of autumn, the beauty I once found in it

has been drowned in sorrow, since that moment

the colours that used to inspire joy now feel muted

I am left with a hollow ache this time of year brings

with the same reminders, the same heartache

the same painful memories of her last moments

of that horrendous day my life forever changed

And I know, no matter how much time passes

this sadness will return with each Autumn

this season, which I once loved so very deeply

has become a cruel reminder of what I have lost

maybe, one day, I will find a way to enjoy it again

but for now,  it is a time when the world outside

mirrors the loss I feel inside, a season of mourning